It was 1855, or so, I cannot remember exactly but I just had turned 18,

With my father, a black Presbyterian clergyman, I was on the way from Charlesville in the Mid West to a farm where a woman was quite ill, and had asked to see my father. I wanted to keep him company and maybe nurse the woman. We were driving our horse drawn cart, and on our way we were attacked by a band of eight Red Indians, Apaches.

I do not know what happened to my father, I never saw him again. The savages ripped my long black dress off me, stripped me fully, and gang raped me. Then they tied me stark naked on horseback, thighs spread, fully exposed. They took me with them to their camp, there proudly showing off their raped captive to all men, women and children.

They took me off the horse and tied me between two poles, standing, arms and legs widely spread, for all to look at up close and to touch and examine, as no one ever had seen a black female before. There was a whip hanging on one of the poles, so anyone could find out how a black girl reacted to being whipped, and many did.

Later they untied me and branded me with a white-hot iron on my left thigh. I smelled my flesh burning and passed out.

They forced me to do chores in and around the camp, keeping me naked all the time, as the animal I had become, to be used in whatever way anyone fancied. That was to be my fate. The women would shout their orders to me and whip me if I did not understand them, so quite soon I knew enough of their tongue to avoid that.

Often I had to wear a belt made of rawhide, with leather straps fastened to some kind of sledge. My arms then were tied tightly to my back, pushing out my full breasts, to please the warriors. The sledge was used to transport things in and around the camp for the women. If the sledge was heavy my walking would be slow, and then an old woman would whip me till I walked fast enough. My legs soon were becoming very strong and muscular; my backside scarred.

Adolescent boys were instructed to rape me often, as a part of their sexual education to be good warriors. I even had to teach some of them.

I did not possess anything, not even a name; they were calling me "pony", or just "black". That is understandable, as animals cannot possess anything.

During the winter I was given an uncured hide and permitted to sleep inside a tent; the rest of the year I was kept naked and had to sleep outside, like all other animals.

During daytime I was used by the women to do chores for them. At night I was to be a toy to all warriors, even had to beg them to rape me, because they would cane the soles of my feet if I did not do so. Sometimes I was used about twenty times a night, in all my holes.

The women were hating me, as many warriors preferred raping me to making love to them. So I was whipped very often by those hateful jealous females; sometimes my crotch was bleeding because they would whip me there. My voice constantly was hoarse because of all my screaming. Nowadays I only can make animal like sounds, as my throat has been damaged by my screaming and overuse by the men.

Having given up all resistance I almost always was climaxing during rapes as the beast I had become. Climaxes were and still are my only pleasure to look forward to; I need them to be able to survive..

When my bastard was born they took it away from me, and went on using me. I never saw my baby, do not even know if it was a boy or a girl.

After about three years they sold me to a group of white traders, in exchange for an Indian girl those had.

The traders had four more ponies to draw their cart; two black girls and two perhaps Mexican.

All were being kept naked.

Nothing much changed for me. After I was branded again, on my other leg, with a cattle iron, I was harnessed to the cart, alongside the other animal slaves and being whipped as liberally as the others. The eight men were on horseback; the cart was used for their trading goods and camping equipment.

For their uses at night many men preferred me, as I had the largest breasts. Also the savages in the camp had forced me to become very skilled in pleasing men.

During the night, when we were not being raped, all girls huddled together for warmth, as we had nothing to cover us. If girls were caught comforting each other, they would be punished harshly, but it was still being done.

During daytime I was pulling the cart, alongside the others; My thoughts and emotions had become those of an animal, a pony. I had forgotten if I ever had a name.

At that time I may have been 20 or 22 years old. I did not know a different life anymore.

But now I am sold again, naked on a block on a market in a small town. very cheap. I understand I am to be a cotton picker, on a cotton farm. Cotton is nice and soft. Now my life is going to be much better; maybe I can save up a little cotton, to make some clothes.

I am happy...