ASK MISS KNOW-IT-ALL
The advice column for the relationship-challenged.

Dear Miss Know-It-All,

I just found out that my best friend abandoned a perfectly good career to become a "ponygirl". That is, she now lives in a horse stable, wears nothing all day but a leather harness and bridle, and is made to work and perform tricks like some trained pony or mule. She says she's happy (or, at least, stamps her "hoof" once for Yes), but I'm concerned for her. She has no freedom or privacy whatsoever (the male trainers even change her tampons for her-- ewww!), and she is whipped whenever she fails to perform as ordered. How can someone be happy under those conditions? Please help!

       Concerned

Dear Concerned,

To understand your friend's state of mind, you must understand female psychology. Women are predominantly submissive by nature, and have no problems giving themselves over completely to a male Master. Women also seek a strong, long-lasting relationship that provides stability and protection in their lives, both of which can be obtained in a good ponygirl environment, because all their needs-- intimacy, sex, food, shelter, clothing (what there is of it)-- are provided for. If I were you, I wouldn't worry, as it seems she has a pretty stable (sorry) situation to me. From your letter, it doesn't appear as if she's abused or mistreated in any way (the punishment you describe may be painful, but it is common and considered in no way excessive). I would say that most women would love to be in such a good, steady relationship. In fact, if you really want to show support for your friend, I suggest you join her. Become a ponygirl yourself, and you can both learn the joy of equine servitude together. Free yourself from the burden of responsibility and the cares of the world, and live your life as a pampered pony today like thousands of others have done. I know you won't regret it.

Dear Miss Know-It-All,

I wrote to you several months ago about my friend becoming a ponygirl. I took your advice and decided to join her, and now I'm just writing back to tell you how it went.

Things didn't go exactly as planned. Though I found it hard to give up everything (my friends, my clothes, my job), I was glad to be with my best friend once more. Of course, since we wore rubber bits in our mouths all day and were housed at opposite ends of the stable, we couldn't communicate, but it was enough just knowing I was there for her. I think she appreciated the psychological support, too, though I couldn't tell (the few times I tried to make eye contact, I was caught and whipped. OW!).

I was unaware that ponygirls eventually had their heads shaved into manes and were branded permanently on the ass, so that took a little getting used to. I also had to adjust to the constant pain from wearing high-heeled pony boots all day, being outside completely naked, relieving myself outside like an animal, and not having the luxury of eating what I wanted when I wanted.

Since I was a little out-of-shape and not athletically inclined, I was soon put to other uses. While my friend (who was once into ballet) was trained as a showpony, I was put to use sexually servicing the ponyboys and trainers whenever they felt the need. I admit this was REALLY hard to get used to, as I've never been a very sexual person (I've only had two boyfriends and a handful of sexual experiences), especially since there were days when I was tied down and gang-banged until I was sore. I have since come to accept the fact that I am nothing more than a warm cunt and mouth to my (hopefully) permanent owners. And since I have full D-cup breasts, they now keep me penned up in a barn all day, where I am constantly milked by a computerized machine strapped to my chest. I suspect they're injecting me with hormones, as I produce about two gallons of milk a day!! It's scary, but I enjoy being milked just the same. It's not quite the life I envisioned, but my Master says to count my blessings, as things could be much worse.

      Whorepony

Dear Whorepony,

Listen to your Master. Although things didn't quite work out the way you wanted them to, that's life. Be thankful, though, that you have a kind and loving Master who doesn't abuse or mistreat you. Ponygirls have been known to have their breasts altered or removed, their vocal cords cut, their eyes chemically blinded, and their arms amputated-- all in a humane fashion, of course-- just so they would be easier to handle. Plus, there are still some sadistic and/or unskilled trainers and Masters who mistreat their ponygirls, not realizing or not caring that a healthy ponygirl can provide them with decades of service, entertainment, and pleasure.

As for the manner in which you are being put to use, you should be proud, as providing sexual pleasure to many is a very noble achievement, and being able to produce so much milk indicates you are a very feminine woman, hormones notwithstanding. All in all, I'd say you've done very well for yourself.