Woman Called Pony

by Helena van Waas
- do not use without the author's permission.


Version 1


My name is, or was, Sandra Fields.

It was Spring 1855, or so, I cannot exactly remember the year but I just had turned 18.

With my father, a Presbyterian clergyman, I was on the way from Charles Ville in the Mid West to a farm where the farmer’s wife was quite ill after child birth, and had asked to see my father. I wanted to keep him company and maybe nurse the woman, as I was an assistant to the town’s midwife. We were driving our horse drawn cart, and on our way out we were attacked by a band of eight Red Indians, Comanche’s.

The savages were merciless. They ripped me my long black dress off, stripped me fully, and gang-raped me then and there, forcing my father to watch all that happened, before killing him, burning him alive on our cart.

I was tied on horseback on our own horse, sitting up stark naked, fully exposed, my thighs spread. They took me with them to their camp at about a four hours distance, parading me around, proudly showing off their naked raped captive to all men, women and children.

They then took me off the horse and tied me between two poles, standing, arms and legs spread widely, for all to look at up close and to touch and examine, as no one ever had seen a white, blonde-haired and blue-eyed woman before.

There was a whip hanging on one of the poles; it was used by several women who wanted to know how a white girl reacted to being whipped.

The men and the adolescent boys were very interested in my full breasts; they helped themselves to handfuls of them, hurting me. Some of them raped me, too.

Later they untied me and branded me on my left thigh with a white-hot iron …….. I screamed …. I smelled my flesh burning and passed out …….

The savages liked to humiliate a white woman. They forced me to do chores in the camp, keeping me naked all the time, as an animal, to be used in whatever way anyone fancied. That was to be my fate. The women shouted their orders at me and whipped me if I did not understand them, so quite soon I learned enough of their tongue to avoid that.

Once a warrior, who’s woman had been killed by whites, tied me between the poles and whipped me till I fainted.

To amuse themselves and to humiliate me even more they gave me a tail; a tapered thick round piece of wood, to which they had tied some feathers, was rammed into my anus deeply. It had a cutout, so I could grip it. If I lost that “tail” I would be punished, but sometimes boys would pull it out of me on purpose.

The tail was very painful at first.

They gave me the name a Woman called Pony, but they would shout “pale” or “pony” to me.

They fed me leftovers from their meals or threw me bits which amused them greatly. The food was dumped on the ground here and there in the camp and I had to eat all of it without the use of my hands. If I left something or if I failed to find it, I was punished.

I liked feeding time, as it was the only time I was permitted to move around in the camp on my own, even if I had to crawl on all fours, with my tail raised.

I drank from the same trough as the horses.

Often I had to wear a belt made of rawhide, with leather straps fastened to some kind of sled. My arms then were tied to my back tightly, pushing out my breasts, which pleased the males. The sled was used to transport things for the women in and around the camp. If the sled was heavy my walking was slow, and then an old woman would encourage me with a whip until I walked fast enough. My legs became very strong and muscular; my backside scarred.

During daytime I was used by the women, to do chores for them. At night I was to be a toy to all warriors, even had to beg them to use me, as they would beat me if I did not do so. Sometimes I was used maybe a dozen times a night, in any way possible; I had to remove my tail then first.

They taught me very well how to please them.

Afterwards I had to put my tail into myself again, which always was painful..

Adolescent boys, on their way of becoming skilled warriors, sometimes were instructed by older men how to rape a white woman as cruelly as possible. They would do so until I was exhausted; sometimes afterwards I could not walk for hours, only crawl. Wearing my tail would be impossible until I had healed.

The warriors had beaten all resistance out of me, so I almost always was climaxing during rapes as the animal I had become; my body had taken over. Climaxes became my only pleasure to look forward to; I needed them to survive.

Also, my breasts became much firmer.

During winter I was given an uncured hide and permitted to sleep inside a storage tent; the rest of the year I was to be naked and had to sleep outside, like all animals. Soon my skin was as tanned as that of the savages.

To clean me they threw me into the nearby river now and then, with a rope tied around my neck.

The women were hating me, as many warriors preferred using me to making love to them; the men did things to me they could or would not ask of their women.. So I was whipped often by those hateful jealous females; sometimes my crotch and anus were bleeding after they had whipped me there. My voice constantly was hoarse because of all my screaming. Nowadays I can make little more than horse-like sounds, as my throat has been permanently damaged by my screaming and the overuse by the men.

When my first and my second bastard were born they took them away, and went on using me. I never saw my two babies, do not even know if they were boys or girls or where they are now.

At last, after some years, they sold me to white traders, in exchange of an Indian girl from a different tribe those had captured. My life should become much better then, as those white men would respect me being a white woman. It was not to be.

Of course, I had to work like everyone else in their group; I was hitched naked alongside their five black pony girls to pull the cart with trading goods. Some of the nine men were riding a horse, others were walking, one with a long whip walked beside the ponies, keeping us well motivated.

During most nights I had to show them my gratitude for saving me from the savages; the traders liked my large breasts. Afterwards I huddled with the black girls to keep warm. We never would wash ourselves, as the traders did not mind the stench.

I was given a new name: Cunt, and they wanted me to wear my tail.

So, things only had became worse for me.

Once, before arriving at a town, I was given a short tunic; the black girls stayed naked. We were locked inside a stable for the four or five days we stayed there, and my tunic was taken away again.

The black girls cost a nickel or a dime for the townsmen’s uses; the traders charged a quarter for me. Because of my large and firm breasts and blonde hair I saw much use. Once one of the townsmen paid a dollar for the pleasure of horsewhipping me until I fainted, and a cruel rape afterwards.

In spite of all this I managed to rest well.

At that time I may have been 22 or 23 years old. I did not know a different life anymore.

Just now, a trader has given me some paper and a lead pencil, allowing me to write down my story.

We are close to the Mexican border at present, and the leader of our group has told me he will get me a good job in a nearby Mexican town. He knows about a place where they need hard working and skilful white and blonde girls with good looks who can work long hours, no Spanish needed. I am looking forward to that, as at last I will get an much easier life, and I am strong, I can work hard, and maybe earn something for the child I am carrying, if I am allowed to keep it.

They gave me a bar of brown soap, a comb and a hair brush; in a muddy stream I have washed myself as well as possible and I have been given some reasonably good but a bit revealing clothes. They even wanted me to apply some cheap, heavy perfume and a red color to my lips.

My tail they inserted into one of the black girls.

I do not know any Spanish, so it is not clear to me what kind of place or work it will be.

What is a bordello?